By Orit Krug  |  August 20th, 2019

“If ONE more person tells me to ‘just breathe’ when I’m angry, I’m going to f^&%ng punch someone in the face!”

Does this kind of inability to control your anger sound familiar?

Maybe it’s your partner who tells you to breathe or “relax” when you get mad and it makes you even more frustrated. If it was THAT easy, you would already be doing it, right?

The strategy I’m about to share with you is a game changer. Check it out:

You can read the steps below, but I encourage you to watch the video to see how it works.

1. Control your anger by visualizing it

Visualize your anger moving down your body as you feel your emotions bubbling up.

To help with visualizing your anger, you can put a color and motion on the emotion. So you can visualize a red heated energy rising up in your body. Or a black, thick heavy liquid that’s expanding from the center of your body, up to your chest and throat.

It doesn’t matter what the image is as long as you use your imagination. There’s no right or wrong, so don’t think about it too much.

This initial step helps you gain control early on as you grasp an image of anger in your mind’s eye and change the direction of the emotional energy.

2. Control your anger by using your feet

Once you’ve visualized your anger moving down your body, you can FEEL that same energy moving down your legs and reaching your feet.

As you feel your anger in your feet, connect to it by walking away and out of the room where you’re having a conflict or argument.

This helps you do something physically productive with your anger AND saves you from draining a lot of energy and feeling hurt. Because when you’re unable to control your anger in an argument, you’ll probably say things you’ll later regret and the fight escalates more than necessary. Therefore, it is BEST to walk away.

Now, a lot of people will challenge me at first and say “I can’t just walk away.” And I say, “Why not?” Why can’t you just walk away? Why can’t you be in your power instead and make that choice to step away? Because it’s going to be SO much worse and WAY more stressful on your emotions, your body, and your relationship if you keep trying to yell over each other.

So use your angry heated energy from your feet to walk out of the room, into a space where you feel more safe and have a fair chance at calming down. You and your partner can always resolve your issue later, when it’ll be MUCH more productive and easy.

3. Slow down your anger and let it dissolve

Once you charge into a private space, gently slow down your pace. People will often get to this step and completely stop as they collapse onto a bed (freeze) or ramp up their energy by throwing things or yelling into a pillow (fight) to “release” their anger.

Going into a fight, flight, or freeze response at this step defeats the purpose of steps 1 and 2 because these impulsive nervous system reactions take over your brain and body and kick you out of control anyway.

So as you enter this new room, use your angry energy to keep walking through the room. Then, slow down your pace VERY gradually. Picture yourself driving a car and then taking your foot off the gas pedal until the car completely stops. Your body is like the vehicle that reaches zero miles per hour without ever touching the brakes.

This strategy prevents you from forcing yourself to shut off or exacerbate your very real feelings of anger in your body. With the gradual deceleration, you allow yourself to feel ALL the spaces in between, from getting to really, really angry to finally feeling calm. You don’t fake feeling calm – you allow yourself to fully move through the emotion so that you can truly dissolve it.

Uncontrollable anger usually stems from unresolved trauma trapped in the body.

You can use this anger exercise as a coping skill, which may help you stop an outburst before it happens.

However, if you are constantly irritable, frustrated, and feeling the urge to snap– then you probably have unresolved trauma lingering in your body and nervous system.

You’ll need to rewire your nervous system and release trauma from your body in order to reach a new baseline of calm and compassionate in your relationships, instead of anxious and resentful.

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

• Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
• Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
• An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Click here now to sign up!

Do you feel like a control freak in relationships? Here’s WHY and what to do about it.

By Orit Krug  |  April 16th, 2019

Let’s talk about why you REALLY feel like a control freak in relationships.

Being a control freak in relationships can look like a lot of different things to different people…

Maybe you remind your partner to do the dishes 3 times in 24 hours because you don’t trust them to do what you asked.

Or you tell them to come home RIGHT after picking up dinner because you’re worried they’ll flirt with that cute waitress.

We feel short-term relief when we gain control because, well … we think we have it under control. But it harms us so much more in the long run.

Control is like an addiction.

It creates a false illusion that everything’s okay because you took control. You’ve reminded your partner to take out the trash 7 times and he finally did it, so you believe you NEEDED to control the situation in order to see your desired results.

You start to believe, “he did the dishes only because I nagged him. I HAD to remind him 3 times in ONE day!”

That sets us up and the control freak in relationships starts to need more control for even more detrimental things, like who they talk to at work or how they eyed their attractive friend.

But the thing is, you don’t HAVE to remind them to take out the trash in the first place if your partner truly cares about your feelings. If they don’t do what you ask, they know you’ll get upset. They want do it for you, if not for themselves.

They want to meet your needs, but they just might not do it as fast as you want. Give your partner the occasional reminder and see if you can let go a little bit.

Here’s the deeper issue though…

Your inner control freak thinks it’s protecting you from heartbreak.

When you’ve been heartbroken, manipulated or abused in past relationships, then you hold onto that deep traumatic experience of losing control and getting really hurt.

Your body remembers these experiences on a nonverbal subconscious level, especially if this happened over 20 years ago or when you were a child. Your whole being now believes that you’re not safe when you don’t have power or control.

Your nervous system takes over and reacts with really high-stress responses when your partner does ANYTHING that even remotely triggers a SENSE of past hurt. And because your will to survive always wins, you cannot convince yourself that “everything’s fine” even when you rationally know that your current partner is nothing like the last ones.

Being a control freak in relationships feels really f**king good on a deep primal level.

So there might be a part of you that HATES feeling like a control freak, but let’s also lovingly acknowledge that part of you that loves having some power.

When all your power was stripped away from you in the past, it feels especially good to get it back.

Maybe you’ve been in situations where if you even TRIED to regain control, you’d suffer some serious consequences.

Even though my brothers were twice my size, I used to hit them back, and they hit me back 3x harder than the original strike. I had no way of gaining control without getting even more hurt.

So when I started dating my prince of a husband, I knew I had the opportunity to have some power against a man, for the first time ever!

I took my anger and trauma from the past and put it all on him, even though he treats me like a queen.

I really hurt him and at one point he asked to break up. I just hated myself for not being able to snap out of it. ALL of the evidence said he was an amazing guy, but I had a greater need for control and I couldn’t talk myself into letting go of my newly acquired power.

So while it feels great to have a safe relationship where you can finally exert control, you need to learn how to feel that from an EMPOWERED place vs. a “screw men, I’m in charge now!” place.

Your body can help you to start letting go of that negative control.

Let’s use the example of asking your partner to do the dishes. Imagine that you’ve already asked them twice.

What would it be like to hold yourself back and not give that third reminder?

What comes up for you in your body? What sensations come up for you?

When you understand the feelings that come from your body, you gain the key to unravel your need for control because we all react to our body sensations FIRST.

We react to alleviate our anxiety when our hearts race or chest tightens. When we have unresolved trauma in relationships, we associate that anxiety with our current partner even if they did nothing wrong.

So observe your sensations right now as you imagine letting go of control. See how they come up and how you want to move TO them, instead of them moving YOU and controlling how your body behaves.

When you give yourself the imagined experience of letting go of control and move with it, you allow your nonverbal subconscious to understand that you’re in charge and it’s safe.

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

• Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
• Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
• An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Click here now to sign up!

By Orit Krug  |  July 24th, 2023

Imagine if you could stay calm during an argument or anytime you got into a disagreement with your partner and communicate what you need.

Staying calm during an argument shouldn’t mean that you have to stay quiet just so you don’t “rock the boat.”

Otherwise, what’s the point? If you bottle up your needs, it’ll eventually come out as an outburst anyway.

A great first step is having a secret little movement you can use to calm yourself down in the moment that isn’t awkward or embarrassing – only you’d know about it!

Today, I want to help you find your safety movement that you can use anywhere, anytime, when you’re with your partner and they say something that makes you feel really anxious and frustrated.

Because it is possible to stay calm during an argument.

This is for those times you feel the impulse to yell at them or put up a wall, particularly when you know that they’re just being their amazing selves.

But the trauma from your past abusive relationship takes control over you and you just can’t help the way that you’re responding.

So I’m going to start by saying that we all have movement preferences that we’ve had for a very, very long time.

We all have a set of ways that we prefer to move and have preferred to move for probably our entire lives.

I’ll give you a little example from when I was younger. I would dance everywhere, I would dance all over my house, I took tap classes, I would just be like, tap, tap, tap, tap, dance, dance, dance! I would just be free in my movement everywhere.

But my dad worked a lot and he’d come home pretty stressed and not tolerant of my cheerful dancing and he’d tell me to stop and quiet down.

He basically gave me the message that it was not okay to be free in my movement. It hurt me. I took that as a message that I can’t be myself.

So I started controlling my movement a lot more and to this day, the way that I’m so comfortable with moving (you can probably see this from my video) is with lots of control.

We all have these stories. We all have these movement preferences.

So what I want to do is help you find the way that you feel safest moving. We’ll call this your safety movement that you can come back to whenever you feel triggered by the trauma of your past abusive relationships. So that you can use it on the spot to stay calm during an argument and not let emotions control you.

Instead, you control the way your body responds.

So maybe it’s comfortable for you to move really, really fast and that speed of movement feels safe for you.

Maybe you feel more comfortable when you move in multiple directions at once instead of one focused direction.

That might be because it allows you to get a huge wide scope of whatever environment you’re in. For example, let’s say you walk into a party and want to see what’s going on before you make any sort of decision with your body, like going to the bowl of chips. Your subconscious made sure that action was safe for you.

So anytime I’m working with a new client, we set a safety movement early on, before we dive into the work, because moving can stir up a lot of emotions that maybe haven’t been dealt with in a while. So we figure out what’s going to be your safety movement.

Let’s do this right now (skip to 4:15 in the video above)

Swaying is really popular because of the soft, gentle soothing motion.

You might like something different because what’s right for some may not be right for you.

Try twisting. There’s more strength and directness to this movement vs. swaying.

So play with the qualities right now and see what’s comfortable for you. Maybe it’s moving or not moving, but actually staying close to your body.

Tune into what feels safe to you right now that you’re like, “Yeaaaah, that’s familiar.”

Something that you realize, “I do that a lot. I do that when I’m talking. I do that when I’m in a conversation.”

Then bring some intentional movement to that. like “Alright, I’ll do this when I’m talking to someone or when I’m getting triggered.”

So, this is how you can discover your safety movement so you can calm yourself down in the moment instead of reacting with emotions you might regret later on.

Want to learn more about how movement can help you heal trauma?

Take my 5-question Self-Assessment to discover your Healing Archetype. You’ll get instant access to a personalized blueprint that’ll help you:

• Assess if your brain & body are truly ready to let go of the past

• Understand the science behind why the most common therapies aren’t enough to heal trauma

• Learn about how my methodology can help you finally let in lasting love, wealth, and health without self-sabotage.

By Orit Krug  |  November 22nd, 2018

Let’s slow down anxious thoughts. When your thoughts are going at the speed of light and they’re just BOOM, boom, boom non-stop…

Here’s a quick movement hack to help you slow them down so you can feel more calm.

Step 1: Think about the speed of your thoughts

Think about the speed of your thoughts right now, especially if they’re going super fast right at this moment.

Even if your thoughts are more calm right now, this is still a great time to mimic how fast your thoughts are when you’re feeling super anxious.

Because when you’re calm, your nervous system is regulated, and your brain can actually process this new information and internalize this strategy in your body.

Step 2: Move the speed of your thoughts (shown in video)

Move at the speed of the thoughts when they are running and racing.

Start by walking the speed of your thoughts when they’re racing.

If you’re feeling extra adventurous, mimic the direction your thoughts are going. Maybe they’re going around in circles. Maybe they’re going back and forth like a ping-pong ball.

Step 3: Slow down your movement for slower thoughts

Whatever speed you’re walking or moving at – slow it down very gradually.

How slow can you go?!

If you played with the pattern, you can also change the pattern into a more focused and direct path to get your mind focused as well.

(If any of this confusing, it’s MUCH clearer if you watch it in the video above)

Optional Step 4: Bonus Focus

I just want to give a little disclaimer that for about half of my clients, slowing down movements helps them slow down anxious thoughts and feel more focused.

BUT, it’s common that slowing down movement actually ramps up anxious thoughts. Because the less busy we are, the more we can leave room for thinking. So if this sounds like you, I have a little trick to help with that.

When you’re walking, focus your thoughts on the actual walking and be really literal about be simple about it.

So, “I’m walking slowly. My foot is going in front of the other.” Be really specific about it: “My left foot is walking in front of my right foot now…” and “my heel touches the ground before the ball my foot does.”

It doesn’t matter the exact words you say, just describe your actions in detail so that you’re still bringing your attention to your movements and to your body. When you’re narrate the details, your thoughts will slow down and become laser-focused.

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

• Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
• Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
• An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Click here now to sign up!