Dance Movement Therapy Archives https://oritkrug.com/category/dance-movement-therapy/ Tue, 11 Jun 2024 12:12:35 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2 Why Somatic Trauma Therapy Is Necessary To Heal Trauma https://oritkrug.com/why-somatic-trauma-therapy-is-necessary-to-heal-trauma/ https://oritkrug.com/why-somatic-trauma-therapy-is-necessary-to-heal-trauma/#respond Mon, 28 Nov 2022 19:46:51 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=8941 Why Somatic Trauma Therapy Is Necessary To Heal Trauma By Orit Krug  |  November 28th, 2022 Somatic Trauma Therapy is gaining popularity due to increasing research that shows how body-centered therapy is essential for healing trauma. You might be wondering if Somatic Trauma Therapy is the right next step for you in [...]

The post Why Somatic Trauma Therapy Is Necessary To Heal Trauma appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Why Somatic Trauma Therapy Is Necessary To Heal Trauma

By Orit Krug  |  November 28th, 2022

Somatic Trauma Therapy is gaining popularity due to increasing research that shows how body-centered therapy is essential for healing trauma.

You might be wondering if Somatic Trauma Therapy is the right next step for you in your healing journey. Maybe you’ve been in therapy for several years but still feel disconnected in your body. 

Perhaps you feel you’ve gained plenty of cognitive awareness about your trauma but you still aren’t making lasting behavioral changes.

Whatever brought you here today, and wherever you may be feeling stuck, please know that it’s not your fault. 

Most therapies – even alternative ones like EMDR, EFT, and hypnotherapy – do not provide the space and tools to truly heal through your body in an effective and lasting way.

Many of my clients start working with me after 20 to 30 years of therapy, thinking that they were broken because they put in so much time and effort without experiencing the full transformation they desire.

However, once we begin working with the body and movement, they suddenly experience the shift and mind-body integration that they’ve been working for all this time.

They realize they were never broken, they just didn’t have the tools and guidance to FEEL the changes in their bodies. This is why Somatic Trauma Therapy is truly a game-changer for healing trauma.

The science behind why Somatic Trauma Therapy works

First, let’s talk about why traditional therapies aren’t enough to truly heal trauma.

The left hemisphere of our brain – the part that governs language and logic and also has the ability to understand the “sum” of any situation – tends to be the less dominant hemisphere when trauma occurs. The left hemisphere may even “shut down” during or after a traumatic event, which explains why talk therapy is often limited in helping people resolve their trauma.

Therefore, the memories and feelings associated with your trauma gets stored in your nonverbal subconscious where it doesn’t understand words. It never stored the trauma memories in words. Instead, the trauma gets stored in fragments of sensations, which means that a “random” smell, touch, or sound can instantly trigger unresolved trauma from the past.

These reactions in your body happen instantly to any faint reminder of your past. For instance, let’s say you’re walking down the street and smell a rosemary-baked chicken from a restaurant. This is the exact type of chicken that your mother used to make to reconcile with your father after he abused her again. Even if you were having the BEST day – even if it has been 25 years since the trauma occurred – the subtle smell of this chicken abruptly sends you into an intense flashback and out of commission for a whole week.

These reactions in your body are not in your control. They automatically happen without thinking about it, just like breathing and digesting.

This is why we need to access different parts of your brain through Somatic Trauma Therapy, where you can actually release old trauma, and become in COMMAND of your responses instead of your nervous system hijacking your behaviors.

Healing trauma through the non-verbal parts of the brain

To further understand why Somatic Trauma Therapy is necessary to truly heal trauma, we need to understand how each part of the brain responds to traditional and somatic types of therapy.

Let’s dive deeper into the different parts of your brain and what needs to happen in order to truly rewire your nervous system:

trauma affects the brain

  1. Prefrontal Cortex

When we are in talk therapy, we are accessing the Prefrontal Cortex. This is the part that absorbs and processes verbal language and ALSO goes offline when we experience trauma. So when you engage this part of your brain to try to heal trauma, you’re only accessing a very, very small fragment of what has actually happened to you in the past. 

This is why traditional therapies and couples counseling aren’t enough to heal trauma. Leaders in the trauma field – Bessel van der Kolk, Pat Ogden, and Peter Levine – have done extensive neurophysiological research and brain imaging that show how trauma memories are stored non-verbally. They all reinforce that embodied therapies are the most effective approach to process and move past trauma. 

  1. Amygdala

The Amygdala is the part of your brain that is your fear center that controls and activates your fight and flight responses.

The Amygdala is the part of your brain that stores most of your trauma in fragments of sensations of touch and smell, and all the senses. Research shows that the Amygdala is hyperactive in trauma survivors and that in order to heal from trauma, your body needs to process past triggers and reduce their intensity. Your body also needs to learn new pleasurable experiences in a safe environment.

When we try to think or talk about our trauma in therapy, or journal, or repeat affirmations, we cannot truly access the non-verbal memories stored by the Amygdala.

  1. Hippocampus

The Hippocampus is the part of the brain that distinguishes between past and present memories. For instance, if your partner gets frustrated with you today, your brain and body literally cannot separate your healthy partner expressing a normal amount of frustration, from your abusive father who often got violently angry with you. This can make it feel like our trauma’s happening to us over and over and over again, and push away partners who are actually safe, healthy, and loving.

Talking about the past doesn’t actually reduce the intensity of the triggers of our trauma today because it does not access the Hippocampus. In fact, talking about every detail of your trauma reinforces negative patterns from the past instead of actively training your nervous system to tolerate and release them. 

A client of mine recently said that all the years she spent in therapy talking about her issues just traumatized her more. She went week after week, talking through all the details of her past, stirring up those difficult memories, without ever actually releasing them from her brain & body. As a result, these memories became intensified and either pushed back down into a depression, or heightened to more anxiety and panic attacks.

Why Somatic Dance/Movement Therapy works best to heal trauma

As we’ve learned in this blog post, traditional therapy is not enough to access the non-verbal parts of our brain. 

We need to access the nonverbal brain directly, and the way that we can do that, in order to change your primal responses, is through your body.

And the language of the body is MOVEMENT. 

Dr. Bruce Perry, a leading expert in the field of trauma, even said, “Nothing grows the brain better than movement.”

It’s crucial to use intentional movement to break old patterns that stem from trauma, because movement is the vehicle for which we express ourselves and communicate in relationships. 

In my couples therapy work, we don’t do that much talking, which is all left-brain (prefrontal cortex) processing. I guide my clients to communicate nonverbally through movement. 

For example, in one couple’s session, I had the partners explore physically moving further away and closer together. For both partners, in their day-to-day life, it felt detrimental when they wanted time and space away from each other. They felt guilty for wanting more independence, so they abandoned their own needs to try to match each other. This led to deep unfulfillment within themselves and hopelessness about the relationship as a whole. But when they moved further away from each other in the safety of our session, they realized it wasn’t detrimental at all. My client said:

“Looking back, our conflicts weren’t really disasters. It was us looking through a screen colored by past trauma. Once we healed the way we were physically reacting to each other, it changed everything for us in a way that nothing else ever had.” 

Because this couple had physical experiences of moving away from each other, and realizing it wasn’t as horrible as they imagined, it gave them the embodied experience that it was safe to be more independent. Plus, we explored different ways they could choose to come back together. 

They especially loved slowly walking back towards each other and brushing up against each other’s shoulders. Even six months after they finished the program, they told me they still do this particular movement which makes them laugh and feel more playful together. 

Plus, it’s really empowering to feel in command of your body and choose how you want to connect to your partner instead of being on autopilot and going through the same old motions that don’t spark excitement anymore.

Of course, this process looks different for every couple and individual because each person brings different traumas and fears to the relationship. The couple I just mentioned clearly brought in some trauma and belief that independence in a relationship meant abandonment and failure. They had to learn a new way, and the years of traditional couples therapy, coaching and conflict resolution exercises didn’t quite hit the mark in the way they needed.

You deserve to heal your trauma & find peace in your body.

The latest trauma research shows that cognitive-based therapies cannot fully access trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body. Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain-Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal trauma from the physical body or nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for many people. They end up feeling stuck, even after spending decades of therapy and gaining so much self-awareness.

If you relate, you might’ve considered giving up on your healing. You might wonder if a fully integrated healing is not possible for you.

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing deeply & wholly, because we all have neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection to love, joy, and openness.

But even with an effective neuroscience-backed Somatic approach, going to weekly sessions could still require many more months or years until you feel that “click” in your body that finally makes you feel WHOLE.

That’s why I run Somatic Trauma Healing Retreats where many people experience accelerated, integrated, and lasting healing in just a few days.

(Disclaimer: each attendee must go through an application process that ensures this accelerated healing is possible for them).

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, I’d love to invite you to check out my retreats! There are several options from women’s healing, plant-assisted, 1:1, and more.

somatic retreats

The post Why Somatic Trauma Therapy Is Necessary To Heal Trauma appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> https://oritkrug.com/why-somatic-trauma-therapy-is-necessary-to-heal-trauma/feed/ 0 Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma https://oritkrug.com/alternative-therapy-for-trauma/ https://oritkrug.com/alternative-therapy-for-trauma/#respond Mon, 21 Nov 2022 20:33:31 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=8899 Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma By Orit Krug  |  November 21st, 2022 Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma Many people seek alternative therapy for trauma after they’ve been unsatisfied in traditional therapy for many years. After all, the latest trauma research shows us [...]

The post Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma

By Orit Krug  |  November 21st, 2022

Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma

Many people seek alternative therapy for trauma after they’ve been unsatisfied in traditional therapy for many years.

After all, the latest trauma research shows us that talk therapy is highly limited in healing trauma. This is because the Prefrontal Cortex, the part of the brain we use to talk about our issues, goes offline during trauma and highly stressful events. Hence, the importance of alternative therapy for trauma that goes beyond talking.

trauma affects the brain

As you may see in the infographic above, the Amygdala and Hippocampus need to be activated and regulated effectively in order to truly heal from trauma in therapy. This is something that cannot be done simply through talking or thinking about the past or future.

In Bessel van der Kolk’s popular book, The Body Keeps The Score, he shares significant findings from brain imaging and mapping research: the Prefrontal Cortex shuts down while recalling trauma, and the amygdala becomes highly activated. This means that talking about old trauma, in order to resolve it, is usually an uphill and never-ending battle.

Many other leaders in the trauma field – Stephen Porges, Pat Ogden, Peter Levine, and more –  have also done extensive neurophysiological research and brain imaging that show how trauma memories are stored non-verbally. These experts all reinforce that embodied therapies are the most effective approach to process and move past trauma.

This brings us to Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT): a science-backed embodied therapy that allows clients to heal through body-centered healing & movement.

What is Dance/Movement Therapy and how does it work as an alternative therapy for trauma?

Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT) is an alternative therapy that can guide you to access and heal trauma through profound body awareness and movement techniques. Not every Dance Therapist specializes in trauma; please consider this if you decide to work with one.

In my trauma healing program, Let Love In, I take clients through an 8-month neuroscience-backed process that’s been highly effective in transforming their relationships by healing anxious attachment, abandonment fears, and more issues that stem from unresolved trauma in the body. 

To help you understand how it works, I’ve outlined the 4 typical phases I bring my clients through:

Phase 1: Release Body-Stored Trauma

As I help my clients connect to their bodies in a safe and gentle way, old memories and emotions inevitably come up. Through this process, clients access stored trauma that their mind has been trying to figure out for years. All the talking in the world cannot resolve trauma stored in our non-verbal subconscious brain and body. That’s why this process works.

Phase 2: Rewire The Nervous System

As clients access old trauma, their bodies feel the fear being stirred up. Instead of disconnecting, numbing, or reacting like they usually do in their relationships, I help them stay present in their body and within our interaction. Because we do this work in the context of a safe therapeutic relationship, we work together to rewire their brain/body connection and strengthen their nervous system as they SAFELY experience new ways of being– in session FIRST.

Phase 3: Break Old Patterns

Any new behaviors and patterns that clients want to create in their relationship must be achieved in their body through movement FIRST. For instance, we can become more vulnerable through gentle, delicate movements, or we can become more assertive by practicing more forceful, strong movements. When we do this together in a SAFE way, clients create new neural and physical pathways that their body learns for the very first time. This is a deeply transformational experience that many find hard to describe.

Phase 4: Integrate Into Relationships

Because we do this work through the body and movement, my clients automatically experience shifts in themselves and their relationship immediately. I also teach specific strategies on how to communicate healthier and make subtle shifts within their body language to ensure that they’re bringing their best self to their partner, so that they can enjoy the most healthy and loving relationship together.

Client examples of Dance/Movement Therapy

To paint a clearer picture of this process, I’d love to share some client stories with you. 

Client story #1 – From chronic people-pleasing to asserting her needs

WATCH THE VIDEO

From the outside, Femke seemed to “have it all” when we met in 2018. She was an up-and-coming performing artist surrounded by many people who admired her. But on the inside, she was falling apart. She was highly insecure, anxious, and unfulfilled by her relationships.

Once we began the healing work in Let Love In, Femke discovered that she had built her life based on trauma and fear. She constantly abandoned her needs to impress others just for a moment of validation and fame. This is why so many praised Femke while she felt empty on the inside.

Femke’s patterns immediately showed through the movement process. Initially, she claimed to feel fine, when in reality, her body revealed the opposite in session.

Once Femke felt safer to feel her emotions and express them in our therapeutic relationship, we dove even deeper. I guided Femke to embody more power, strength and assertiveness. Initially, her nervous system rejected this idea.

Her nervous system almost went into a Freeze response each time she began to express more power through her physical body. But with my guidance, she moved through this fear and learned, within her entire being, that it is safe to be powerful. It is safe to say no and disappoint others. This was something she’d been trying to convince herself for many years through the mind; however, through the body and movement, she finally believed it and followed through with aligned action in her relationships.

We recorded a video interview in August 2022 – about 3 years after we finished working together. In this video, you’ll see short clips of Femke moving on her own, as well as she and I moving together. This may help provide a clearer picture of how powerful this work is via body & movement.

Client story #2 – From hiding and numbing emotions, to showing up proudly in all her feelings

WATCH THE VIDEO

When Nancy joined Let Love In (LLI) in June 2021, she was terrified of being seen and judged. While all the other LLI members introduced themselves in the 1st week, Nancy continued to hide.

Finally, after 6 weeks, Nancy wrote an official introduction about herself. She said, “This is better than nothing,” admitting that she wanted to post a video of her moving like the others did, but it was too scary to move her body, and especially be seen in it.

Over the next 6 months, Nancy gradually became more comfortable connecting to her body and expressing herself through movement. Not only did she move with us in live sessions, she also posted very vulnerable movement videos of herself moving through grief and pain. It was clear that Nancy was finally able to be with difficult emotions instead of impulsively reacting, numbing, or escaping from them.

Nancy also showed up in joy, play, and celebration – the “positive” emotions that she never felt safe to show growing up, or even in her adult life. We witnessed Nancy embody blissful states of being. We witnessed her feeling proud of her progress and healing.

Lastly, Nancy broke old patterns and learned new behaviors via movement, which dramatically strengthened her relationship skills. She says her favorite new pattern is being able to express anger and be assertive in a healthy way instead of yelling and overreacting. Nancy continues to share just how much this has improved the relationship with herself, her partner, and her children.

Nancy stands strong in her renewed sense of power, freedom, and self-confidence. Her new way of being is palpable from how she speaks about herself and her growth… and how she moves through it, which you can see in the clips of her dancing by clicking on this video.

Client story #3 – From escaping her marriage to appreciating the love right in front of her

WATCH THE VIDEO

My client Corrie used to have thoughts of leaving her husband every single day. She had been through decades of talk therapy and other alternative approaches trying to resolve this.

She would consistently come home from work and flip out at her husband and daughter. Her baselines was snappy and frustrated. And she blamed this on the relationship.

She felt intense urges to run away, which was her Flight response hijacking her body and emotions. The threat of being in her relationship felt so real, like stumbling upon a bear in the wild. She truly felt she needed to escape. Fast.

While she spent all those years feeling like damaged goods, she didn’t realize how much her nervous system was controlling & intensifying her fear of being in her marriage.

Once we helped her release her trauma through her BODY, she said all of her relationship doubts & anxiety dissipated. She finally felt calm and rooted, not only in her relationship, but inside her skin as well (check out the video to see / hear how movement helped her).

Corrie went from thinking she was in the wrong relationship DAILY to becoming so much closer with her husband and daughter. 

For the first time, she enjoyed her life with them and even felt excited about their future together. She finally noticed all the ways he shows how much he loves and appreciates her. She finally felt loved.

Can Dance/Movement Therapy work for you as an alternative therapy for trauma?

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped many people finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

Neurophyisologically-speaking, they were not any more capable of healing than you are right now… but they were ready.

Therefore, the big question shouldn’t be, “Will this work for me?”

The question needs to be, “Am I ready for it?”

Because as a human being, you ARE 100% capable of healing in a way that truly lasts. But you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

  • Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
  • Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
  • An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Worthy of Love

Click here to sign up now!

The post Dance/Movement Therapy: A Highly Effective, Science-Backed Alternative Therapy For Trauma appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> https://oritkrug.com/alternative-therapy-for-trauma/feed/ 0 Why trauma-informed couples therapy works best with dance & movement https://oritkrug.com/trauma-informed-couples-therapy/ https://oritkrug.com/trauma-informed-couples-therapy/#respond Wed, 09 Nov 2022 21:16:32 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=8867 Why trauma-informed couples therapy works best with dance & movement By Orit Krug  |  November 9th, 2022 Trauma-informed couples therapy typically happens through the traditional approach of talk therapy, but it’s not nearly the most effective way. The most effective approach to heal trauma within couples therapy is through a neuroscience-backed process [...]

The post Why trauma-informed couples therapy works best with dance & movement appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Why trauma-informed couples therapy works best with dance & movement

By Orit Krug  |  November 9th, 2022

Trauma-informed couples therapy typically happens through the traditional approach of talk therapy, but it’s not nearly the most effective way.

The most effective approach to heal trauma within couples therapy is through a neuroscience-backed process via Dance/Movement Therapy (DMT).

Before you click away from this page thinking, “Me? My partner? Dancing? Ha! No way.” Wait a moment and hear me out!

First of all, as counterintuitive as it sounds, DMT isn’t about dancing in the typical sense, and it certainly isn’t a dance class. In a trauma-informed couples therapy process, this process is about accessing the trauma stored in your bodies, and allowing you to safely move through it so you can release it and move beyond recurrent issues (I’ll give clear examples of what this looks like later in the post).

Second, research shows that healing trauma is most effective with embodied therapies. So even if this idea scares you, it’s most likely necessary in order to save or deepen your relationship. This is because trauma gets stored in the non-verbal parts of our brain (Amygdala & Hippocampus) and our physical bodies. These non-verbal parts cannot process verbal language. Therefore, when you try to talk out your issues in therapy, or think about how you’re going to respond differently the next time – it doesn’t create enough of an impact to effectively change unwanted patterns.

Why traditional therapy is not enough for couples who’ve experienced trauma

It’s common to attend couples talk therapy for several years and still feel stuck in the same exact spot when you started (or worse, because you’ve spent all this money and time feeling hopeless).

This is because a traditional therapy process only accesses memories in our Prefrontal Cortex (PC), which is the part of our brain that governs verbal language and logic. But the majority of your trauma memories are not housed in the PC. In fact, brain imaging and mapping research has shown that the PC goes “offline” during trauma and highly stressful events. So when you’re working through difficult conflict with your partner, even in therapy, you’re likely not even able to process and absorb new skills if it’s triggering stress or old trauma.

The infograph of the brain below may help paint a clearer picture of why traditional therapy is typically not enough for trauma-informed couples therapy to make a lasting change in relationships.

trauma affects the brain

In sum, traditional therapy is likely not the correct approach for helping couples heal their trauma and improve their relationship. Unfortunately, this leads many couples to prematurely end their relationship because they believe they tried everything and yet they’re still not happy.

What exactly is Couples Dance/Movement Therapy?

There aren’t many Dance/Movement Therapists doing highly specialized trauma-informed couples therapy, but those of us who are, approach it slightly differently.

In my couples program, Deeper Love, I take clients through a 6-month neuroscience-backed process that’s been highly effective in transforming my clients’ relationships. To help you understand how it works, I’ve outlined the 4 phases I typically bring my clients through:

Phase 1: Cut Through The Bullsh*t

Whether the couple has tried to work on issues alone or with a counselor, they’ve only hit the surface of what needs to change to deepen their relationship. In Deeper Love, I guide couples to connect with each other through movement, which cuts through verbal defenses that keeps most relationships from building the deepest and most harmonious connection possible.

Within just one session, moving together immediately reveals the couple’s biggest defensive areas in a lighthearted, curious, and enjoyable way.

One minute of movement revealed how Aindrea & Rich needed to improve their communication.

Phase 2: Break Old Patterns

Once the couple’s biggest defensive areas are revealed to us, we change them through movement. Most couples spend YEARS talking about how they want to change, but they’re never able to because the body never learns a new way of behaving.

In Phase 2, I guide couples to try new movements in connection with each other that immediately shift the way they interact and connect. Every movement represents a different behavior, so if they want to become more open with each other, they can literally try that on together in movement.

By trying on new ways of behaving and expressing themselves together in session FIRST, they avoid the rollercoaster cycle of feeling like things are improving and then back to square one. This eliminates the need to keep talking about what they want to change in session and then not being able to follow through in their real word together.

Phase 3: Eliminate Fear-Based Reactions

Many couples go as far as learning new behaviors, but then fall back into the same old patterns because they’re deeply scared of true change.

In Deeper Love, my clients literally move through the fear that comes up around changing their patterns–ON THE SPOT. This means they transform old relationship habits in session before they even have a chance to do it in their day-to-day life.

Through movement, I help each partner stay present and comfortable in their body & emotions instead of impulsively disconnecting or defending.

Phase 4: Integrate Into The Relationship

Because we do this work through body and movement, my clients naturally experience huge shifts within themselves and their relationship. I also give them specific strategies to try on together during life outside of session. That way, their transformation becomes fully integrated by the time they’ve finished the program.

Examples of couples work via Dance/Movement Therapy

To paint a clearer picture of this process, I’d love to share some client stories with you.

Couple Story #1 – From Codependent To Independently Secure & Connected

In one couple’s therapy session, I guided the partners to explore physically moving further away and closer together. For both partners, in their day-to-day life, it felt detrimental when they wanted time and space away from each other. They felt guilty for wanting more independence, so they abandoned their own needs to try to match each other. This led to deep unfulfillment within themselves and hopelessness about the relationship as a whole. I wanted to test what would happen when they moved further away from each other in the safety of our session.

The result? They realized it wasn’t detrimental at all.

Because this couple had both safe and therapeutic physical experiences of moving away from each other, and realized it wasn’t as horrible as they imagined, it gave them the embodied experience that it was safe to be more independent. Plus, we explored different ways they could choose to come back together. They especially loved slowly walking back towards each other and brushing up against each other’s shoulders. Even six months after we finished working together, they told me they still do this particular movement, which makes them laugh and feel more playful together!

This one session was a reflection of their entire experience doing this work. My client said to me, as he reflected on the program: “Looking back, our conflicts weren’t really disasters. It was us looking through a screen colored by past trauma. Once we healed the way we were physically reacting to each other, it changed everything for us in a way that nothing else ever had.”

Couple Story #2 – From Dismissing Her Needs to Seeing Her & Listening Closer Than Ever Before

One of my couples came into session with a major issue that wasn’t shifting, even though they were experiencing huge shifts in other areas of their relationship. They wanted to work on the tension, conflict and disconnection that occurs when she asks him to do things around the house, and he doesn’t take action. She’d said she needs to ask him a million times and STILL he either puts it off or says, “It’s fine.”

I started the session by having each partner connect to themselves first through the body via movement. (My couples clients improve their connection to each other tenfold when they’ve connected to their own bodies first).

As they were connecting to their own selves, I prompted them to connect with each other only once they felt a connection with their own bodies. They eventually did.

Afterwards, I asked, “What helped you connect to each other?”

She mentioned that after she connected with herself, it helped her to open her eyes and make physical contact with him.

This was crucial, because when she described their pattern of asking him to do tasks, she added, “Ultimately, I want to be able to stay connected, instead of feeling like I’m a burden, forgotten, and my needs dismissed.”

Now that we knew what helped them connect to each other, they were ready to play out this pattern in movement.

“Let’s have both of you move as if you’re currently in the midst of this pattern,” I prompted.

I asked her, “How do you typically gesture, walk towards or away, or hold yourself in your body when you’re asking him to do these things? Move that.”

And for him, I said, “As you’re seeing her move this pattern, respond with one ‘out-breath’ what sensations you’re feeling in your body as they’re coming up. Then respond to that sensation by moving your body however it instinctually wants to in that moment.”

Here’s what happened: She did HUGE chaotic movements with her arms and entire body to communicate, “Hellooo! Can’t you see I’m asking something here!” To that, he said, “There’s a hollow feeling in my stomach.”

As she continued to move, she noticed that he became flat and didn’t make any further movements.

She thought, as usual, “This ISN’T WORKING! He isn’t DOING ANYTHING!”

When we paused the exercise and processed this verbally, she reflected that this is exactly how the pattern plays out in their lives. She feels like she needs to set fires to be heard and seen, and he shuts down and doesn’t do anything.

BUT, instead of their usual pattern fully playing out, she remembered that making eye contact and physically touching him helped her stay connected with him. So, instead of getting lost in frustration of things “not working,” she touched his leg. Then, suddenly, he was “back” and present. He gestured and gently verbalized “I’m here. What do you need?”

It was such a simple but powerful shift.

She connected this back to her past trauma where she felt she had to set fires to grab people’s attention. Meanwhile, what she realized in the session was that her big chaotic “LOOK AT ME!” movements made him shut down.

Instead, if she makes a simple connection with him that invites him in instead of scares him, he’s able to see her and meet her.

As a result, she said, “I feel SEEN. More than 1,000 words could.”

Now, they can both stay connected harmoniously, even during conflict. And truthfully, they don’t have so much conflict now. They can easily navigate their obstacles with playfulness and deep connection because this physical experience of truly seeing each other without trauma-tinted glasses gave them so much compassion for each other, and their own selves.

Couple Story #3 – From Shutting Each Other Out To Coming Together During Conflict

One of the major issues in this relationship was that the female partner constantly felt burdened with tasks & responsibility for the family, while the male partner seemed indifferent. She felt very alone in their relationship and in their partnership as parents. For readability purposes, let’s call this couple Rachel and Barry.

One day, Rachel & Barry came to session telling me about their recent blowout a few nights prior. Rachel had asked Barry to sign a piece of paper, to which he responded “Later.” It was one simple signature; she pushed him to just do it, and he pushed back harder.

As they were talking about the argument in session, they started getting into their typical loop. I gently interrupted and said, “This isn’t going anywhere. Let’s do some movement.”

“I’d like for you to pass an imaginary object back and forth. It can be whatever you desire it to be. A ball of energy, a piece of paper, or something metaphorical like anger.” I prompted.

“Whatever this object is, you can change it and mold it every single time you pass and receive it. You can also pass it back and forth as slowly or as quickly as you’d like. So if you feel the desire to play with this object for a while before passing it back, that’s okay too.” I added.

They agreed and went forward with the intervention.

Here’s what happened: Rachel immediately felt burdened and upset by this imaginary object, so she kept passing it back to Barry very quickly. Barry found this to be fun and was visibly smiling and playing. This made Rachel even more upset because this is exactly what happens in their real life: When Rachel approaches a serious task, she hopes Barry will respect its importance and help with it. But Barry usually doesn’t take it seriously and leaves Rachel with the burden.

When we processed this movement experience through words, Barry wasn’t showing much emotion. This made Rachel feel more upset because he wasn’t showing that he understood the magnitude of this issue. I guided Barry to tune into his body and move what he was feeling in that exact moment. This was hard for him, but he eventually identified a deep sadness and began to cry. Something Rachel has not seen in a very long time.

Barry identified that he was sad because he felt helpless and couldn’t resolve their family issues that were completely out of their control. Rachel, seeing Barry deeply feeling this, finally let go of her resentment towards him and understood that he wasn’t aloof. He was frozen by a feeling of helplessness.

This was really powerful. So much shifted in just that 5-minute movement experience. I asked them to do the exercise again with this new awareness. I sensed that their back-and-forth movements would look completely different this second time. And they did.

Here’s how they reflected on their movements the 2nd time around: “It was fun this time, it was just an object without the baggage – lighter and more playful, working together more – feels like something we can manage together.”

This led to a harmonious, full-body realization that even though they may not be able to change a certain situation, they can at least be together in their sadness instead of alone. This also helped Barry immensely, in terms of accessing his feelings instead of repressing them. This created a necessary foundation for so much more change in their relationship.

Can trauma-informed couples therapy via Dance/Movement Therapy work for you?

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped many couples finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

Neurophyisologically-speaking, they were not any more capable of healing than you & your partner are right now… but they were ready.

Therefore, the big question shouldn’t be, “Will this work for us?”

The question needs to be, “Are we ready for it?”

Because as human beings, you ARE 100% capable of healing in a way that truly lasts. But you need the right methodology, and to make sure your nervous system & body are truly ready to heal.

When you take my 5-question Self-Assessment to discover your Healing Archetype, you’ll get instant access to a personalized blueprint that’ll help you:

  • Assess if your brain & body are truly ready to let go of the past.
  • Understand the science behind why the most common methodologies aren’t enough to heal trauma.
  • Learn about how my methodology can help you finally let in lasting love without self-sabotage.

Healing Archetype

The post Why trauma-informed couples therapy works best with dance & movement appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> https://oritkrug.com/trauma-informed-couples-therapy/feed/ 0 How dance therapy releases trauma memories stored in your body https://oritkrug.com/dance-therapy-releases-trauma/ https://oritkrug.com/dance-therapy-releases-trauma/#respond Mon, 04 Oct 2021 00:25:17 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5861 How dance therapy releases trauma memories stored in your body By Orit Krug  |  October 4th, 2021 In order to understand how dance therapy releases trauma from the body, we need to first understand how trauma gets stored in the body. When anybody experiences trauma, their higher-functioning brain goes offline. This is [...]

The post How dance therapy releases trauma memories stored in your body appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

How dance therapy releases trauma memories stored in your body

By Orit Krug  |  October 4th, 2021

In order to understand how dance therapy releases trauma from the body, we need to first understand how trauma gets stored in the body.

When anybody experiences trauma, their higher-functioning brain goes offline. This is the part of the brain that processes verbal language, makes decisions, and plans what to say or do in any situation.

In the moments that you experienced trauma, you lost the ability to make any rational thought or decision, or remember anything in words.

Your primal brain took over to defend, attack, and save your life. This is true even if you weren’t in actual physical danger and the abuse you experienced was purely emotional.

Therefore, your memories and feelings associated with past traumatic events become stored in your body as fragments of sensations.

Have you ever smelled a perfume or cologne that brought you RIGHT back to the memory of an old partner? Even though you had not thought of them in a long time? This is one small example of how smell, touch, sound, and other senses become memories for significant events in our lives.

Trauma is stored in your body as physical sensations that are connected to your trauma.

After working in psychiatric hospitals and clinics for 8 years, I took my first private client in 2018. She prefers to stay anonymous, so we’ll call her Amy.

Amy had been a well-established psychotherapist for over 20 years. She also received her own personal therapy for childhood trauma for 20+ years. Amy started working with me because she was “curious,” but I like to think her body led her to me because there was unfinished business in her healing.

A month into our work together, I guided Amy to explore movements to let go of control in her body. She immediately started crying as she recalled memories of childhood sexual abuse.

“I don’t understand. I thought I healed my trauma and now it’s showing up again,” she said.

I helped her regulate through her emotions and reassured her, “You’ve done so much important work to heal, but these are the memories you haven’t yet reached… until now.”

When Amy did the “letting go” movements, it stirred up a certain sensation in her body that brought up memories of her past sexual trauma.

There was no adequate verbal explanation I could provide her. Her trauma was never stored in words. It has been stored in the body, and, like every other client I work with, there are certain movements that will stir up different sensations in their bodies.

Each of these sensations is directly tied to the memories of their past trauma. This is not a one size fits all process!

For Amy, it was the “letting go” movements. For my client Brigid, it was strong-weighted movements. For another client Claire, it was slowing down and bringing her body to the floor.

And then there’s you.

You are a unique individual with a unique set of traumas. The way that you’ve stored them inside your body will determine your own experience of accessing and releasing them through movement.

Dance Therapy releases trauma in a safe, gentle and specialized way.

First, it’s essential to say that you cannot rely on ANY modality to heal you. You have to do the work too.

Secondly, not all Dance Therapists are equal. Many don’t have specialized trauma training. If you work with a Dance Therapist, make sure they are experienced in trauma healing and that they’re a safe match for you.

With that said, Dance Therapy can absolutely feel MAGICAL in healing trauma, especially if you’ve been stuck for many years.

Through Dance Therapy, we begin by gently & safely helping you connect back into your body so that it becomes safe to start accessing what’s been trapped in there.

Then, as we begin to move together, old trauma inevitably gets stirred up because you’re literally and metaphorically moving what you’ve been repressing in your body for so long.

However, instead of you reacting, numbing, or repressing in response to your trauma getting triggered in session, we see your micro-movements & micro-body signals that show us you’re about to enter into a fear state.

But we don’t let you go into that fear state because the point is to NOT repeat the same patterns that are happening in your life & relationships.

In that exact moment that fear comes up in your body, we help you stay present & regulated in your body AND the therapeutic relationship.

That way, you can stay present in your relationships, even when you get triggered. This allows you to CHOOSE how you want to respond, instead of overreacting or shutting down.

Expanding your window of tolerance to stay calm, even while triggered, is the essence of rewiring your nervous system.

You deserve to find peace in your body & live freely without fear.

The latest trauma research shows that cognitive-based therapies cannot fully access trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body. Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain-Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal trauma from the physical body or nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for many people. They end up feeling stuck, even after spending decades of therapy and gaining so much self-awareness.

If you relate, you might’ve considered giving up on your healing. You might wonder if a fully integrated healing is not possible for you.

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing deeply & wholly, because we all have neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection to love, joy, and openness.

But even with an effective neuroscience-backed Somatic approach, going to weekly sessions could still require many more months or years until you feel that “click” in your body that finally makes you feel WHOLE.

That’s why I run Somatic Trauma Healing Retreats where many people experience accelerated, integrated, and lasting healing in just a few days.

(Disclaimer: each attendee must go through an application process that ensures this accelerated healing is possible for them).

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, I’d love to invite you to check out my retreats! There are several options from women’s healing, plant-assisted, 1:1, and more.

somatic retreats

The post How dance therapy releases trauma memories stored in your body appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> https://oritkrug.com/dance-therapy-releases-trauma/feed/ 0 Where your fear of rejection in relationships is coming from https://oritkrug.com/fear-of-rejection-in-relationships/ Fri, 24 Sep 2021 10:00:18 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5745 Where your fear of rejection in relationships is coming from By Orit Krug  |  September 24th, 2021 You’re finally with a healthy, loving partner, so why do you still have a fear of rejection in relationships? Your fear of rejection in relationships might be confusing the heck out of you. Part of [...]

The post Where your fear of rejection in relationships is coming from appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Where your fear of rejection in relationships is coming from

By Orit Krug  |  September 24th, 2021

You’re finally with a healthy, loving partner, so why do you still have a fear of rejection in relationships?

Your fear of rejection in relationships might be confusing the heck out of you. Part of you that knows how amazing your partner treats you. But there’s a much LOUDER part that points out all the ways your partner could hurt you.

If this is happening for you, then this is a strong sign that you’re storing trauma in your body from past relationships.

Even though your mind knows that your partner is committed to you and loves you, your body feels all this anxiety and fear about getting heartbroken. 

Your mind may even obsess over every single word your partner says, or the subtle way they squinted their eyes when they said it. 

Hours later, deep into your circle of thoughts, you find your shoulders all the way up to your ears. This fear creates so much tension in your body.

This isn’t your fault. This is how old unresolved trauma impacts our ability to enjoy life and love.

Trauma fuels your fear of rejection in relationships, even when there’s no real threat.

This is NOT a reflection of your character and it does NOT mean you are damaged goods.

Old trauma stored in the body creates irrational fear in the nervous system and brain. 

Even if your trauma happened over 20 years ago, the threat of the past repeating today feels SO intense. Almost as if it’s happening all over again (time itself does not heal trauma).

Read: How long does it take to heal from trauma?

You’ve gotten majorly hurt in past relationships. Thus, you hold the belief in your body that ALL relationships end in hurt. Even when there’s clear, practical evidence that you’re safe and supported with your current partner.

You may repeat affirmations that you are safe or worthy of love, but the part of your mind that says these words cannot access the part of your brain & body where your trauma is stored.

Talking about your fear of rejection in relationships will not heal the trauma that’s fueling it.

We cannot possibly heal trauma through talking, journaling, or affirmations. These exercises speak ONLY to the higher-functioning part of the brain, or your prefrontal cortex.

Yet, your trauma is stored in your NON-VERBAL primal brain, which does not understand verbal language. 

It’s like speaking French to someone who only understands English. 

You can hear all the words in the world, like “I am worthy of love!” or “I am safe with my partner!” But the part of your brain and body that’s storing trauma will not be able to comprehend it.

You have to speak your non-verbal brain & body’s language to begin to process and heal trauma. And the language of the body is MOVEMENT.

Break free from your fear of rejection by healing your trauma through movement.

My client Shay was so afraid of rejection (and intimacy) that her body would literally freeze up whenever she spoke to a new love interest.

Because the “freeze” response is an ancient nervous system response, we knew that her trauma was being triggered just by LOOKING at someone she was interested in potentially dating.

Through working together in my dance therapy-based program, Let Love In, she was able to rewire her nervous system to stop freezing at the slightest chance of intimacy.

We practiced this directly through our therapeutic relationship. One thing we did was literally move closer together and further away. When we moved closer, she felt her anxiety rise and an immediate urge to completely disconnect from me and her body.

Slowly and gradually, I helped her use specific movements that helped her stay regulated in her nervous system and stay connected to me even through the fear she felt in her body. 

Eventually, she was able to be fully present and calm when we got closer to each other. This was an essential breakthrough in her trauma healing because this experience directly translated to her external relationships in her world. Instead of being intensely afraid of rejection, she was finally able to invite more intimacy and love in her life. This was the transformation she had wanted for so long, but her body wouldn’t allow it until doing this work together!

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

  • Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
  • Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
  • An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Worthy of Love

Click here now to sign up!

The post Where your fear of rejection in relationships is coming from appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> Why trauma will make you believe you’re in the wrong relationship even when you’re not https://oritkrug.com/in-the-wrong-relationship/ Fri, 10 Sep 2021 10:00:04 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5671 Why trauma will make you believe you’re in the wrong relationship even when you’re not By Orit Krug  |  September 10th, 2021 Are you in the wrong relationship or is unresolved trauma tricking your brain? Do you constantly switch between wondering if you’re in the wrong relationship, and then being totally head-over-heels [...]

The post Why trauma will make you believe you’re in the wrong relationship even when you’re not appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Why trauma will make you believe you’re in the wrong relationship even when you’re not

By Orit Krug  |  September 10th, 2021

Are you in the wrong relationship or is unresolved trauma tricking your brain?

Do you constantly switch between wondering if you’re in the wrong relationship, and then being totally head-over-heels for your partner? If so, you probably have old trauma still stored in your body. 

One day you’re in love with your partner and fully believe you’ll be together forever.

The next day, you’re overcome with anxiety and thoughts like, “I don’t think I can do this anymore” while planning your secret escape.

This isn’t because you’re in an unhealthy or toxic relationship. In fact, when you objectively think about your relationship, you know it’s the healthiest, most amazing partnership you’ve ever been in.

But, too often, you flip like a switch. If your partner isn’t texting you enough, you no longer feel like your relationship is stable.

If your partner is quiet, you immediately assume that they no longer want to be with you. That’s when you start to create your exit plan so you can leave them FIRST.

This isn’t a reflection of your character. This is TRAUMA controlling your ability to feel calm and safe in a healthy relationship. 

To cope, your mind makes up stories that you’re in the wrong relationship. Because that’s safer than totally letting your guard down and letting yourself be fully loved.

Should you trust the voices that say you’re in the wrong relationship?

Whether it’s the voices in your own head, or your friends (aka, unqualified “therapists”), you may want to pause before you believe them.

My client Corrie used to have thoughts of leaving her husband every single day. She had been through decades of talk therapy and alternative approaches trying to resolve this.

She consistently came home from work and flipped out at her husband and daughter. Her baselines was snappy and frustrated. And she blamed this on the relationship.

She felt intense urges to run away, which was her Flight response hijacking her body and emotions. The threat of being in her relationship felt so real, like stumbling upon a bear in the wild. She truly felt she needed to escape. Fast.

While she spent all those years feeling like damaged goods, she didn’t realize how much her nervous system controlled & intensified her fear of being in her marriage.

But once we helped her release her trauma through her BODY, she said all of her relationship doubts & anxiety dissipated. She finally felt calm and rooted, not only in her relationship, but inside her skin as well.

Corrie went from thinking she was in the wrong relationship DAILY to becoming so much closer with her husband and daughter. 

For the first time, she enjoyed her life with them and even felt excited about their future together.

If Corrie trusted those voices in her head, and followed primal urges in her body to leave, she would’ve broken apart her family. All based on false beliefs due to old trauma making her feel that NO relationship is safe.

How do you know if it’s trauma tricking you into believing you’re in the wrong relationship?

There are several ways you can tell this is old trauma running the show:

  1. You have a strong track record of Relationship Anxiety, where you constantly fear that your partner isn’t right for you. No matter how many relationships you leave, you always feel the same doubts & fears in the next one.
  2. Your partner is emotionally stable, but you cycle between being high & in love with your partner to low & hopeless about your future together.
  3. The tiniest “signs” set you off. For example, your partner’s tone was “slightly different” when answering your question about where they went after work. Or, they didn’t answer their phone at the grocery store because it was on “Do Not Disturb.”
  4. There has been absolutely NO evidence that your partner is disloyal or doesn’t love you, but you cannot trust them no matter what they say or do.

Once you experience trauma, your nervous system becomes wired to look for danger signs even when there are none. That’s because its #1 mission is to keep you from getting hurt like you did in the past. 

It’s like an animal in the wild who senses every vibration and smell to make sure they won’t get eaten alive by a predator.

You sense your partner’s TINIEST mistakes or things they said “wrong” as the biggest betrayals. When in reality, there is no perfect relationship and you are each bound to mess up every now and then.

Even if there are TRULY questionable things that your partner has done, you won’t know for sure if you’re in the wrong relationship until you heal your trauma. 

Unresolved trauma creates so much confusion because you’re wired to automatically react to protect your life, even when you rationally know that you are safe. 

You deserve to find peace in your body & let love in without fear.

The latest trauma research shows that cognitive-based therapies cannot fully access trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body. Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain-Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal trauma from the physical body or nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for many people. They end up feeling stuck, even after spending decades of therapy and gaining so much self-awareness.

If you relate, you might’ve considered giving up on your healing. You might wonder if a fully integrated healing is not possible for you.

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing deeply & wholly, because we all have neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection to love, joy, and openness.

But even with an effective neuroscience-backed Somatic approach, going to weekly sessions could still require many more months or years until you feel that “click” in your body that finally makes you feel WHOLE.

That’s why I run Somatic Trauma Healing Retreats where many people experience accelerated, integrated, and lasting healing in just a few days.

(Disclaimer: each attendee must go through an application process that ensures this accelerated healing is possible for them).

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, I’d love to invite you to check out my retreats! There are several options from women’s healing, plant-assisted, 1:1, and more.

somatic retreats

The post Why trauma will make you believe you’re in the wrong relationship even when you’re not appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> What to do when my past trauma is affecting my relationship https://oritkrug.com/my-trauma-is-affecting-my-relationship/ Fri, 27 Aug 2021 10:00:13 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5740 What to do when my past trauma is affecting my relationship By Orit Krug  |  August 27th, 2021 Let’s talk about what to do when past trauma is affecting your relationship with your partner today. It’s the worst feeling when you’re finally with the healthiest, most loving partner, but past trauma is [...]

The post What to do when my past trauma is affecting my relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

What to do when my past trauma is affecting my relationship

By Orit Krug  |  August 27th, 2021

Let’s talk about what to do when past trauma is affecting your relationship with your partner today.

It’s the worst feeling when you’re finally with the healthiest, most loving partner, but past trauma is affecting your relationship. 

You may be sabotaging your connection or constantly worried that they’re going to leave at any moment. If you’re at all the way I was, you can’t stop imagining that they’ll turn into a monster like your abusers were to you.

It’s ironic. Your fear of abandonment and rejection is actually making you abandon and reject your partner.

When you’re constantly absorbed in your fears and thoughts of “what-if,” you’re not present in your relationship for your partner.

You’re either stuck in the past or constantly worrying about what might happen in the future. This makes you emotionally absent and neglect your partner. The very same thing you’re afraid of them doing to you.

Recognize that your fear of being hurt is making you hurt your partner.

If past trauma is affecting your relationship by rejecting your partner’s acts of love (because you don’t believe it), questioning your ability to trust them, and creating stories about how they’re going to hurt you… then you’re hurting them in almost the same way you fear them hurting you. 

My client Lavinia used to constantly reject her husband’s acts of love and intimacy. She pushed him away when he wanted to be physically closer and she dissociated during sexual intimacy.

Deep down she wanted to feel unconditionally loved and wanted, but her fear of intimacy and abandonment made her communicate to her husband that she didn’t want him (which is not actually the case).

When your fear of abandonment or intimacy is making you reject your partner, then past trauma is affecting your relationship because you cannot let in the love that’s right in front of you. Yet, all you want to do is FEEL and be loved.

Release the trauma through your body to free yourself of self-sabotaging fears.

When you experience trauma, you store those memories in your body and nervous system. 

This rewires your brain and nervous system to be on constant high alert and make a whole lot of problems out of nothing.

It makes you hypervigilant to see the tiniest things as huge red flags or warning signs that your partner is going to hurt you.

Because all of this is occurring in your BODY and primal nervous system, you cannot talk yourself into behaving a different way. You cannot repeat affirmations or journal about it, and expect it to be resolved.

This is also because the higher-functioning part of your brain, that uses verbal language and cognitive planning, goes offline during trauma and any time you get triggered.

Hence, you did not store the majority of your trauma in words, so you cannot access those memories in words. Which means you also cannot use words or conscious thought to release trauma.

In order to release body-stored trauma, you must access the memories through the body. You must speak the language of the body, which is movement.

Through a specialized process where you connect to your body through movement, you CAN heal your trauma and rewire your nervous system for healthy, lasting love.

You deserve to find peace in your body & let love in without fear.

The latest trauma research shows that cognitive-based therapies cannot fully access trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body. Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain-Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal trauma from the physical body or nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for many people. They end up feeling stuck, even after spending decades of therapy and gaining so much self-awareness.

If you relate, you might’ve considered giving up on your healing. You might wonder if a fully integrated healing is not possible for you.

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing deeply & wholly, because we all have neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection to love, joy, and openness.

But even with an effective neuroscience-backed Somatic approach, going to weekly sessions could still require many more months or years until you feel that “click” in your body that finally makes you feel WHOLE.

That’s why I run Somatic Trauma Healing Retreats where many people experience accelerated, integrated, and lasting healing in just a few days.

(Disclaimer: each attendee must go through an application process that ensures this accelerated healing is possible for them).

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, I’d love to invite you to check out my retreats! There are several options from women’s healing, plant-assisted, 1:1, and more.

somatic retreats

The post What to do when my past trauma is affecting my relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> Why you keep looking for what’s wrong with the relationship https://oritkrug.com/whats-wrong-with-the-relationship/ Tue, 03 Aug 2021 14:43:28 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5656 Why you keep looking for what’s wrong with the relationship By Orit Krug  |  August 3rd, 2021 Let’s talk about why you keep looking for what’s wrong in your relationship. It’s not like you’re ALWAYS looking for what’s wrong in your relationship, right?  One day you’re totally in love with your partner, [...]

The post Why you keep looking for what’s wrong with the relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

Why you keep looking for what’s wrong with the relationship

By Orit Krug  |  August 3rd, 2021

Let’s talk about why you keep looking for what’s wrong in your relationship.

It’s not like you’re ALWAYS looking for what’s wrong in your relationship, right? 

One day you’re totally in love with your partner, thinking how perfect they are for you, and how you’re going to be together forever.

Then the next day, you’re plagued with thoughts like, “I don’t know if this is going to work out” as you point out all the things that they’re not doing right.

Maybe they didn’t text you exactly when you wanted them to. 

Or they didn’t say, “I love you” FIRST in 4 days (not that you’re counting, right?)

This dramatic rollercoaster is a strong indication that you have old trauma unresolved in your body.

Old trauma makes you question anything that is potentially hurtful to you.

By nature, relationships are potentially hurtful. Sharing your heart with a partner is an emotional risk. Even in a healthy, stable relationship. 

With old trauma trapped in your body, the tiniest risks can feel like death threats. 

You know in your mind that it’s not a huge deal your partner didn’t text you back on time. You may even come up with a practical explanation. Maybe they got stuck at work or lost service on the train.

But your body isn’t rational. In the 20 minutes that you didn’t hear from them, you experience so much anxiety, it feels like your life is in danger.

This is your old trauma hijacking your body, your emotions, and the way that you relate to your partner.

That’s because your nervous system is now wired to look for all the danger signs that something is wrong in your relationship. Even when they’re not REAL danger signs.

You’re not consciously looking for what’s wrong in the relationship. Your survival system impulsively reacts at the first sign of “danger” which makes you feel unsafe to stay in your relationship.

Your nervous system operates under the belief that love is not safe.

You keep looking for what’s wrong in your relationship because it protects you from getting hurt like you did in the past.

Whether you experienced trauma in childhood, a romantic relationship, or both, you learned that it is NOT safe to give or receive love.

Even in a healthy relationship today, your survival system still picks out the tiniest pieces of “evidence” that you will not be safe with your partner.

This is also known as hypervigilance. Like an animal in the wild looking for any sign of a predator. They must pay extremely close attention to any noise, vibration, or shadow that indicates they could get eaten alive.

Now, we are civilized humans, but we are also animals who evolved from living this exact way in the wild. 

When your partner forgets to pick up your favorite bag of chips at the supermarket, or looks at you a certain way that feels “off”… it feels like your relationship is no longer a safe place to be.

It’s usually one little thing that sets you off. Suddenly, it feels like you’re not going to survive your relationship. As if you’re going to be eaten in the wild.

This is NOT your fault or a reflection of your character. You cannot change the wiring of your nervous system with “positive thoughts” or affirmations. You can’t just decide that you’re going to stop looking for what’s wrong in your relationship.

You must rewire your nervous system in order to break the unhealthy pattern of looking for “signs” that your partner will hurt you.

Rewire your nervous system to feel safe, happy, and excited in your relationship.

My client Corrie used to spend hours in her head thinking about leaving her marriage.

She fantasized about running away and how things would be better if she wasn’t with her partner.

Once we began to release old trauma from her body, her brain understood the difference between her current reality and past trauma (her husband is not a monster from her past).

After she completed my Let Love In program, I asked her what changed in her marriage.

She said…“I see him again.”

“Instead of the scary version I painted of him, I can see him and all the expressions of love and devotion that he does every day.” 

Before the program, she had only focused on his flaws and the ways in which he could hurt her. 

But once she rewired her nervous system and took off her trauma-tinted glasses, she was hopeful and excited about their relationship.

Her entire world transformed. Actually to a point where her entire family needed to get used to this new, evolved version of Corrie.

The Corrie who wouldn’t come home and flip out immediately. It took some time to believe that her new baseline is calm, present, and affectionate. 

Corrie had spent YEARS in therapy trying to work this out without success and sadly almost gave up on her relationship that she’s now so happy to be in. 

You have the ability to experience this transformation too.

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

  • Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
  • Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
  • An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Worthy of Love

Click here now to sign up!

The post Why you keep looking for what’s wrong with the relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> How healing childhood trauma with dance therapy improves your relationship https://oritkrug.com/healing-childhood-trauma/ Wed, 28 Jul 2021 15:49:28 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5644 How healing childhood trauma with dance therapy improves your relationship By Orit Krug  |  July 28th, 2021 Healing childhood trauma is an uphill battle for most people, but is it possible that it's easier than we think? I spent a lot of time struggling to heal my trauma and have healthy [...]

The post How healing childhood trauma with dance therapy improves your relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

How healing childhood trauma with dance therapy improves your relationship

By Orit Krug  |  July 28th, 2021

Healing childhood trauma is an uphill battle for most people, but is it possible that it’s easier than we think?

I spent a lot of time struggling to heal my trauma and have healthy relationships without sabotaging them.

After 15+ years of childhood trauma, I was (passive) aggressive and unable to trust ANY act of love in my relationships.

When I met my now-husband, Aaron, I had already been in talk therapy for 3 years in an attempt to finally break my unhealthy patterns.

Talk therapy gave me the cognitive awareness about why I was STILL sabotaging the relationship and partner of my dreams. But I didn’t know how to stop.

Eventually, Aaron couldn’t take any more of my controlling and abusive behavior. He broke up with me about a year into our relationship. 

That was my breaking point.

I didn’t realize that talking couldn’t help me heal my childhood trauma.

It was 2013. I was 3 years into my dance therapy career and I finally decided to do this work as a client. 

I enrolled in a dance/movement therapy program where I finally accessed and released my childhood trauma from my body. 

My entire life transformed and I got my relationship back with Aaron. Stronger & healthier than I had ever experienced in my life before. 

I went from pushing him away to truly letting in his love without being defensive or constantly questioning my worth. 

Our clients experience a very similar transformation, even after 20+ years of talk therapy, energy healings, and other approaches.

Trauma must be released through the body.

It’s essential to understand that your childhood trauma is stored in your body. 

You may be able to verbally recall memories from the past, but most memories and emotions associated with your trauma are stored in the non-verbal brain & body.

Let’s do a quick recap of the science behind this (click here for a full-on free training).

When you experienced your trauma, your higher-functioning brain went offline. This is the part of the brain that uses verbal language to think, remember, and make decisions. 

Hence, your trauma was NOT stored verbally in your memory.

Your trauma is not remembered in words. It is remembered through sensation.

If you can resonate with the following scenario, then you already know this to be true.

“It happened out of nowhere. I was having a great day and all of a sudden, BAM! I had a flashback. I was simply walking down the street when it happened. Nothing specific seemed to trigger it.”

You might’ve smelled a specific scent or heard a noise that immediately brought your body and nervous system to a trauma memory. As if it was happening all over again.

That’s how trauma gets stored (and triggered) in all of us. Through fragments of sensation associated with the traumatic event.

If your abuser wore a certain cologne, or your mother baked “apology cookies” after hitting you… you only need a faint whiff of these smells to bring you right back to the traumatic event.

There are no amount of words or mindset work that can access most of the trauma you’re holding in your body.

We must access trauma through the body. And the language of the body is movement.

Dance Therapy is the perfect match for healing childhood trauma. 

When you work with a dance therapist who is qualified to heal trauma, then you get to connect back to your body in a SAFE and gentle way.

However, connecting back with your body inevitably stirs up old trauma memories. So you can’t just say, “Great! I’ll just dance at home” or go to a yoga class.

There is a crucial point in time during the healing process that cannot be approached alone. Most people who try it DIY end up making their trauma symptoms worse. 

A skilled dance therapist can see your micro movements & micro body signals that immediately shows us when your trauma is getting stirred up in your body. 

This is the crucial point of time where you have the opportunity to change everything you’ve been wanting.

Instead of dissociating, disconnecting, numbing, or escaping your body, your dance therapist will help you stay regulated, present and connected to your body. 

Through repeated experiences of staying present when your nervous system used to hijack your body’s behaviors, you rewire your nervous system.

Additionally, staying present in the therapeutic relationship, when you’re triggered and tend to escape or lash out, will directly help you do the same in your external relationships.

You deserve to find peace in your body & let love in without fear.

The latest trauma research shows that cognitive-based therapies cannot fully access trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body. Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain-Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal trauma from the physical body or nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for many people. They end up feeling stuck, even after spending decades of therapy and gaining so much self-awareness.

If you relate, you might’ve considered giving up on your healing. You might wonder if a fully integrated healing is not possible for you.

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing deeply & wholly, because we all have neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection to love, joy, and openness.

But even with an effective neuroscience-backed Somatic approach, going to weekly sessions could still require many more months or years until you feel that “click” in your body that finally makes you feel WHOLE.

That’s why I run Somatic Trauma Healing Retreats where many people experience accelerated, integrated, and lasting healing in just a few days.

(Disclaimer: each attendee must go through an application process that ensures this accelerated healing is possible for them).

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, I’d love to invite you to check out my retreats! There are several options from women’s healing, plant-assisted, 1:1, and more.

somatic retreats

The post How healing childhood trauma with dance therapy improves your relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]> 3 common causes of intimacy avoidance in a relationship https://oritkrug.com/intimacy-avoidance/ Tue, 27 Jul 2021 12:21:28 +0000 https://oritkrug.com/?p=5637 3 common causes of intimacy avoidance in a relationship By Orit Krug  |  July 27th, 2021 Intimacy avoidance can happen even in a healthy, loving relationship. Let’s talk about why intimacy avoidance is happening in your relationship and how to know if you're creating distance due to past trauma: 1. You’ve been [...]

The post 3 common causes of intimacy avoidance in a relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>

3 common causes of intimacy avoidance in a relationship

By Orit Krug  |  July 27th, 2021

Intimacy avoidance can happen even in a healthy, loving relationship.

Let’s talk about why intimacy avoidance is happening in your relationship and how to know if you’re creating distance due to past trauma:

1. You’ve been hurt in the past.

Your unresolved trauma of abandonment and rejection creates a story in your body and nervous system that all closeness and intimacy end in hurt.

It feels too scary to risk more rejection and let your guard down, and that makes it “safer” to avoid intimacy. 

You truly have to be vulnerable to initiate sexual, emotional, and physical intimacy. If you’re stuck in a self-protective state, then you’ll experience too much anxiety just thinking about this risk.

You may also think about initiating a sexy text or reaching out for a hug. But because your body is so frozen in the old trauma, you remain stuck in not taking any action.

This isn’t your fault. It’s what commonly happens when trauma is stored in the body, which leads us to reason #2.

2. You have a fear of rejection.

If your fear of rejection stems from trauma, then your nervous system is now wired to look for every potential danger sign that you could get hurt.

Let’s say your partner leaves their socks on the floor and hasn’t picked them up in 3 days. You asked them multiple times, but they haven’t listened.

Feeling utterly wounded, you think:

“WHY? Why don’t they care about my needs? Why doesn’t ANYONE love me?”

You totally blow it out of proportion in a very intense and quick way.

This is how you know that your old trauma is being triggered. It’s the littlest things cause a deep wounded feeling of rejection.

Maybe your mind knows that you’re overreacting, but your body feels like giving up and collapsing. This can make you feel like you don’t have the emotional strength to risk intimacy. Hence, it feels best to just avoid it.

3. You and your partner aren’t always on the same page.

In the beginning of my relationship with Aaron–before I healed my trauma–I avoided sexual intimacy.

He wanted to do the deed at night and I preferred it in the morning when I was more energized and awake. 

I often tried to make a move after breakfast, but he repeatedly said no (I later learned that he doesn’t feel sexy with a full belly, ha!).

I immediately made up a lot of stories in my head like, “Why doesn’t he love me?”

“Is he more attracted to someone else? WAIT, IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE?”

It was so triggering for me that I stopped initiating sex for a while.

After I healed my trauma, I could actually have a healthy conversation about this instead of assuming the worst.

We still have our different needs for intimacy.

Even now, there are times when I just want to cuddle with him and he says he wants his own space. Or he’s too sweaty to be touching.

Back in the day, I was heartbroken over it. I always suspected that he was lying to cover up why he doesn’t really want me.

Now that I’ve taken off my trauma-tinted glasses, I can finally see him and his needs. I have no resentment when his needs are different than mine. It’s not personal.

When you and your partner aren’t on the same page, what are the stories you create about it? Are they too painful? Is it easier to just give up trying?

Intimacy avoidance is easier than dealing with the old trauma.

It’s common for old trauma to resurface when you and your partner have different preferences for intimacy. This makes your nervous system automatically go into self-protection mode to prevent getting hurt like you did in the past.

However, this “protection” is self-sabotaging and leads to intimacy avoidance. Inevitably, you will get hurt again because of the distance you’re creating in your relationship today.

In order to truly rewire your nervous system, break patterns of avoidance and ENJOY intimacy, you have to do this healing work through your body and movement. 

Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.

Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.

Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.

This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.

This is NOT true!

Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.

My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).

You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.

Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:

  • Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
  • Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
  • An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.

Worthy of Love

Click here now to sign up!

The post 3 common causes of intimacy avoidance in a relationship appeared first on Orit Krug | Dance Movement Therapist.

]]>