Is this popular therapy causing more problems in your relationship?
By Orit Krug | Oct 21st, 2022
You finally found a therapist to heal your past trauma, but is the therapy causing more problems with your partner today?
Talk therapy is the most popular form of therapy, yet it is this exact therapy that’s causing problems in many relationships.
You’ve been in talk therapy for years because you still have trauma from your past that blocks your ability to let in your amazing partner’s love today.
You know you’ve got to work on your issues to save your relationship, but talking about it hasn’t made you feel any better. You might even feel worse than when you started therapy.
Talking about your trauma brings up old wounds without releasing them.
At first, it felt good to be able to put words to what happened to you because no one ever validated your trauma as a child or even as an adult. Those initial aha-moments with your talk therapist brought some relief, like “I’m not messed up! I experienced trauma.”
What usually happens next is that most people return to talk therapy sessions week after week… after week. They end up talking about essentially the same things that they already addressed in the first few sessions of therapy, so they make little to no progress.
This isn’t their fault. This is the nature of talk therapy.
When you repeatedly talk about your trauma, you stir up the old memories that are stored in your body without actually releasing them.
For instance, when you rehash the details of the time your father became violently aggressive with your mom, you get closely in touch with that memory. Even though you’re not physically back there, you might start feeling your heart racing faster as if it’s about to happen all over again.
Your body reacts with physiological responses to prepare you to fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown to survive and cope in the same exact way you did with the original traumatic event.
At this point, you might even be able to talk about your past without feeling much emotion, but don’t let your mind fool you. Your trauma still gets stirred up subconsciously if you’ve only ever talked about it and have never released it from your body.
For trauma survivors, talk therapy often worsens anxiety, depression, and negative relationship patterns.
Have you often left your therapy sessions feeling more anxious or depressed for days? Do you flip out on your partner after you come home from a talk session?
Here’s why – you’ve stirred up all this emotional charge from the past and your body responds in 1 of 3 ways:
- Depression: your body pushes all these old emotions and memories back down into your body, creating the heaviness and numbness that is common with depression.
- Anxiety: your body buzzes with the old feelings that have just been brought back to the surface, but you have no idea how to release them. This is the uncomfortable charge and energy which we identify as anxiety.
- Negative relationship patterns: your nervous system is so desperate to find release that you end up yelling at your partner or your kids, driving a deeper wedge between you and them. It feels like relief for a minute, but you end up regretting it because they didn’t deserve it. This may lead back to pushing it down again and further depression.
You may have also experienced these effects after other therapeutic modalities beyond talk therapy, such as EMDR, energy healings, hypnotherapy, and anything else that gets you in touch with the old trauma without successfully rewiring your nervous system and releasing it.
If you’re able to connect your past trauma to all the ways you’re sabotaging your relationship today, then you’re ready for a change.
You already know everything you need to know in your mind. Talking about it further won’t create a shift until your nervous system and body release the old trauma, so you can follow through with the new, healthier behaviors that your mind wants you to do.
You can spend another 5-10 years in couples counseling talking about how you want to stay calm during an argument, or you can actually create a change by connecting to your body to release the trauma from your nervous system.
When you successfully release the trauma from your BODY, you can rewire the charge that’s currently hijacking your body into a survival response at the first sign of conflict with your partner. You can choose to respond with calmness, openness, and assertiveness instead.
Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.
Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.
Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.
This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.
This is NOT true!
Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing in a way that truly lasts, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.
My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).
You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.
Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:
- Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
- Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
- An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.
