Simple strategies for improving connection with your partner
By Orit Krug | November 3rd, 2020
Are you working on improving the connection with your partner but you’re still feeling disconnected or stuck in a rut?
One of the most common mistakes that couples make is that they try to fire up their connection with strategies that only activate the mind. Having deeper conversations or even going out to dinner (which just leads to more talking) only engages the analytical and intellectual parts of your brain.
In order to connect with your partner on a much deeper level, you have to spice things up by doing things that also engage your body and activate the creative & intuitive parts of your brain.
Connect to each other on a deeper level through your body.
Engaging in new experiences that involve your entire body creates an opportunity to connect on a much deeper level than talking can do in itself.
You can try taking a dance class together or just go outside and do something active like play catch with each other. You can also take a trip to the beach and go swimming in the water together.
If it sounds simple, that’s because it is. Playing catch together might feel silly at first, but it requires a new level of connection, teamwork, and probably laughter because it’s been so long and you feel pretty awkward doing it.
It doesn’t matter what the specific activity is. The most important goal is to try new challenges together so you can laugh, grow and connect deeper.
While this isn’t rocket science, many couples fall into the same rut of dates that only create space for the same old conversations, or they give up and stop spending quality time altogether.
Simple strategies to improve your connection will create profound shifts in your relationship.
You don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on a broadway show or take a luxurious vacation to connect deeper. Those things are really nice to do occasionally. But they don’t set you up for the consistent connection you crave on a daily basis and they’re not enough to keep a long-term spark alive.
The simple strategies that work create space for you to connect with your own body so that you can feel a deeper connection to your partner on a daily basis. You don’t need much money or fancy things to do this. You just need you and your body.
You can try some of the date ideas listed above, but there’s also a lot of strategies you can try on your own to connect deeper with your own body. In fact, you HAVE to feel connected within yourself FIRST in order to feel a real, deep connection with your partner.
My client Natasha recently told me that before working together, she always thought she was feeling and letting in the full extent of her husband’s love. She had spent years doing meditations and repeating affirmations to feel more love. But once she started tapping into her BODY and feeling amazing in her own skin, she was surprised at how she felt his love on such a satisfying level she never felt in any relationship before.
Feel alive in YOUR own body and skin so you can feel a deeper connection with your partner.
Are you comfortable in your own skin? Do you move your body in a way that feels really good for you on a daily basis?
If you’re disconnected from your body, then you’re in the habit of blocking out sensations. This is a common defense mechanism when you have trauma trapped in your body. Your body does whatever it takes to not feel the “bad feelings” so it just numbs out everything – even the really good, orgasmic-feeling stuff.
If you lack the ability to feel free, spontaneous and in flow within yourself, then you’re most likely going to feel the absence of all those things in your relationship. We need these qualities to feel a sense of vitality and lightness within ourselves so we can feel it with our partners.
If this is happening for you, it’s because of past trauma and it’s NOT your fault. It’s the only way your body has known to protect itself from getting badly hurt again.
Because we store trauma primarily inside our bodies, your nervous system forms a belief that it’s not safe to be connected to your body and therefore you instinctively avoid being in your body. Maybe you’re in the habit of comfort-eating or mindlessly scrolling on social media. Not only do these habits numb you from feeling emotions, they also distract you from being present and truly enjoying your relationship.
Stop thinking about improving the connection and start doing instead.
Talking, thinking, and journaling about improving the connection with your partner isn’t going to change anything if you’ve already hit a rut or haven’t felt any shifts with these techniques already.
Start with doing different things together and take new adventures. Then assess if that’s working for you. That might be all you need.
If you’re trying new things and you still feel disconnected, frozen, and/or tense inside your body, despite being in a healthy loving relationship, then that’s a strong indication that you have deeper trauma stored inside your body that needs to be released.
In order to release the old trauma from your body, you’ll need to understand how to rewire your nervous system, so you can feel alive and connected with yourself. This will help you to improve your connection with your partner in a way that’s amazing and deeply satisfying, even if you’re currently scared of intimacy.
Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.
Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.
Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.
This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.
This is NOT true!
Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.
My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).
You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.
Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:
- Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
- Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
- An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.
