Emotionally healthy relationships start with a healthy foundation – Do you have one?
By Orit Krug | June 22nd, 2021
Emotionally healthy relationships start with a good foundation of healthy communication, respect and intimacy.
We all know that, so why is it so hard to achieve it?
Well, a healthy foundation needs to start with you.
WAIT – “What about my partner? Don’t they need to be healthy too?”
Yes, but let’s put that aside for a moment and focus on you right now.
You need a strong foundation of confidence, playfulness, and openness within yourself to be able to have an emotionally healthy relationship.
But if you have unresolved trauma in the body, then you probably often feel insecure, heavy, serious, and guarded, which makes it nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship with anyone else.
Trauma can keep you from having lasting, emotionally healthy relationships.
First of all, I want to remind you that an unhealthy relationship with yourself is an issue, but it is NOT your fault if you have one due to past trauma.
Because you’re storing trauma in your body, your nervous system automatically does whatever it takes to prevent another heartache, abandonment, or betrayal from happening again… even if your original trauma happened 20 years ago.
This shows up in your relationship as being defensive at any tiny sign of conflict or being too controlling in order to prevent things from falling apart.
This is just your primal body doing what it’s designed to do: protect you from feeling pain and hurt so you can survive as a human being.
We cannot change our biology, so until the trauma is released from your body, this will continue to happen no matter how many times you tell yourself to behave differently or repeat affirmations that you are worthy of love.
First, identify what emotions need to be released from your past.
My client Farrah left her abusive husband several years ago and is now with a supportive loving partner, but even after years of talk therapy and energy healings, she still feels guarded and disconnected in her new marriage.
Once we started working together through the body, she realized she has not allowed herself to let in her new husband’s love because she still feels such intense guilt for leaving her last husband.
Even though her last husband was abusive, she made a promise to stick with him through “thick and thin” and that’s where her guilt is stemming from. Intellectually, she knew she shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving an abusive partner, but her body holds a different story.
Through movement, we have been able to release her guilt that was actually covering up deeper trauma that felt too scary to release until now.
Now, she is beginning to let in her husband’s love and accept that she is actually worthy of his love! She is no longer punishing herself and sabotaging her first real opportunity for a healthy lasting relationship.
Once you release your trauma, you can have an emotionally healthy relationship that lasts.
You’ll know you have healed your trauma and capable of having an emotionally healthy relationship when you can:
- Communicate harmoniously and feel compassion for your partner even through disagreements
- Feel confident in your connection even when you spend time apart instead of fearing abandonment or imagining your partner cheating
- Receive feedback without immediately feeling criticized or worried that your partner doesn’t love you
- Feel in your entire body that you are worthy of love. As a result, you believe your partner’s compliments, stay present through sexual and emotional intimacy, and eliminate intrusive negative thoughts.
Once you do, you’ll feel so much lighter, freer, and more alive within yourself and your relationship. The relief that this brings to your entire body, mind and soul is incredible.
Learn how to heal your trauma for good and rewire your nervous system for healthy love.
No matter how many times you talk about the past or how many years you spend in different types of therapy, you cannot heal your trauma unless you are doing it through your nervous system and body.
Once you heal, you can build that amazing healthy foundation that is required to have even the most basic foundation that makes up a healthy, positive and lasting relationship.
Even if you’ve been struggling in your current relationship, you can still turn things around by healing the trauma that makes you sabotage and push away your loving partner.
Get on the right path to healing trauma from your body and nervous system.
Many people spend decades and thousands of dollars in traditional therapies trying to heal their trauma. Unfortunately, even the most popular therapies are scientifically shown to be limited in accessing trauma stored in the non-verbal brain and body.
Even alternative approaches, such as EMDR and Brain Mapping, are often not enough to fully heal from the physical body or the nervous system.
This makes trauma healing a very frustrating journey for so many people. They often blame themselves for being “un-healable” and decide that they’re broken.
This is NOT true!
Every human being is 100% neurophysiologically capable of healing from the past, because we all have wiring and neural pathways that can be rewired from fear and overprotection, to love and openness.
My unique, scientific-backed process via Dance Therapy has helped hundreds of clients finally heal from past trauma and transform their relationship (even after decades of trying in other therapies).
You can heal too, but you need the right methodology.
Sign up for my online course (ranges from free to $20 USD) to begin a unique, body-based learning experience that will teach you:
- Science-backed education about how trauma is stored in your body and nervous system. You’ll gain an understanding why it has NOT been your fault you haven’t healed yet from past trauma.
- Gentle, guided body-based movement that is necessary for integrated healing. This is crucial if you want your mind’s intentions to match your body’s behaviors in relationships.
- An embodied approach to healing that has helped hundreds of clients break unhealthy relationship patterns and let in healthy, lasting love.
